


Let's Be Homosexual John

by melancholyMisfit



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, davejohn - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 19:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholyMisfit/pseuds/melancholyMisfit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this completely original one shot, John wants to see Dave's eyes. He won't get his prize without a fight first! </p><p>Mmmm don't take this seriously guys. This is a repost from FF and pretty much no one seems to realize I was making fun of JohnDave fics. I love the ship but the whole "let me see your eyes" and "I'm not a homosexual, Dave" thing has been done to death. So...you can find it cute and fluffy if you really need to...but that's not what I was going for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Be Homosexual John

**Author's Note:**

> Warning! DaveJohn ship approaching starboard! Prepare for impact! When they board have your tissues ready and your feels heavily guarded! Do you copy!  
> That’s just…a mess of different things…I’m sorry I’m not a pirate…I don’t get this shit

“Dave.” The bucktoothed boy said suddenly.

The other lazily turned his head to the one who’d called his name. “What?”

“I want…to see your eyes.” His face was twisted into that cute serious face he got. Though he hated to be called cute because men do not call other men cute. This was the face he wore when he meant bizznizz. His mouth was pulled down into almost a frown, his bucked teeth protruding out over his bottom lip slightly. His eyes were somewhat narrow and his eyebrows were furrowed together.

“I told you dude, you’re not ready to see my eyes.” Dave responded, looking directly at John. Or, so John thought. It was really hard to tell with those things. He could only see his own reflection so he settled on holding his own gaze.

He squinted his eyes slightly, trying to see through the reflective surface of his aviators. Without realizing he began to lean over the table, closer to the other’s face. The breath from his nose steamed up the shiny frames.

“Dude, are you even trying to see my eyes anymore or are you just trying to kiss me?” Dave asked in his nonchalant way.

John back pedaled a bit but held his ground as he tried even harder to see through the glasses. “I am not a homosexual Dave.”

“Yes, John. We all know this. You say it at least six times every day. Me thinks the Egbert doth protest too much.”

This caused John to fall back into his seat. “What? Are you implying that I only say I’m not a homosexual because I actually am but am trying to cover it? Is that what you’re saying Dave?”

“I didn’t say anything. That was all you bro.”

“No because you put the thought in my head.”

“I just made a statement. It was whatever twisted thoughts you already had in your head that caused your steamy thoughts.”

“My thoughts are not steamy! They are the farthest thing from steamy! They are frozen solid, old and forgotten in the back of the freezer of my mind!”

“So you admit that they’re there?”

John let out a frustrated grunt. “Maybe you’re just trying to cover up the fact that YOU’RE homosexual, Dave! Is there something you want to tell everyone? We’re all ears.”

“Dude, we’re the only ones in here.” Dave couldn’t help a small smirk as he watched the Egbert boy become more and more infuriated. He loved to tease him until he was in a huff and wouldn’t stop until someone intervened or Dave gave up.

“Come on Dave, admit it. Admit that you’re the homosexual and you’re just trying to make it seem like it’s me to make yourself feel better!” John hardly noticed as Dave stood from his seat and came around the table to crouch in front of him. “I mean look at you! How can you say I’m the homosexual one? Almost everything you say is some sort of guy on guy innuendo! You think it goes right over my head but it doesn’t.” Dave grabbed John’s face between his hands and began to pull him closer. Oblivious, John continued to rant pointlessly. “You pretend you’re all into girls and hit on them all the time but that’s just a cover up because Dave Strider in a raging ho-!” John’s words were cut short by the pair of lips that were now pressed firmly against his. He froze as his thoughts turned to mush as his eyelids began to close over wide eyes.

Dave released his hold on the other boy and rocked back on his heels, staring up at the other through is dark shades. “I’m what now?” Dave asked, a playful and somewhat satisfied smirk pulling at his lips.

“Dave. You…why…but I’m not…and you are…” Dave cocked at eyebrow as he waited for John to form an actual legible sentence.

As the Heir stared in shock at his ironic friend, Dave began to do something unthinkable. His hand traveled up to his glasses and before long his security blanket was being removed to revealed closed eyelids. The room was deafly silent as Dave’s eyes began to flutter open (in a total non gay ironic way of course). Red irises met bright blue hues as they stared at each other for a long, silent moment.

John’s hand found its way to the Knight’s cheek as he stared dumbfounded with his mouth slightly agape.

“Dave…” The blue eyed boy said quietly.

“What?” Strider asked, trying not to break his gaze.

“I think…I might be a homosexual…”

**Author's Note:**

> The end! Lovely gay prons for all! OMG that was so NAUGHTY I mean, Caliborn can hardly take this hot raunchy mess of homosexual gyrating.  
> Um, no seriously, just wanted to get this out of my head. Kthxbye


End file.
